Forget about what you have learned as a boy. Unlearn whatever it is you picked up in your father’s copy of pornographic videos and magazines; these were created to stimulate a man’s imagination, these were created to excite men based on what men think are sexy. If you really want to learn how to please a woman in bed you’ll have to think like her.
This sounds horribly cliche to say but it is true that men are microwave ovens whereas women are more like wood ovens. You need to stoke the fire to get it as hot as you want it to get. This needs patience and selflessness. In addition, unlike with men who can get excited with visuals, you cannot just show up naked, performing a lap dance and expect a woman to swoon. You will more likely get either an embarrassed giggle or loud guffaws. So before you practice pole dancing, know that women get aroused differently.
The first thing you need to learn about how to finger a woman in bed is to establish a mood. Women need to feel that emotional bond before they feel sexually attracted to you, they have to like you. They have to have a want to be with you. Superficially women can get attracted with how a man looks, but if you are already in a relationship, where the “her liking you” is already a given, you need to make her feel loved and appreciated to reboot that feeling of “her liking you”.
One way to do this is to set the mood for sex. If she is tired give her a massage, if she is stressed cuddle up with her and let her vent, if she’s had a long day make her some dinner and do a little slow dancing. Once she is relaxed and cozies up to you, you can start making your moves. But do not go and start grabbing her. This is a tad off putting. Start slow and work up the passion, listen and feel for signs that she is responding positively to it. And when you know that she is opening up to you (no pun intended), never ever skip on the foreplay. Make your foreplay as long as you possibly can until she is begging you to go ahead and get inside her.
Learning how to please a woman is not easy. But to perform at your absolute best, I recommend you download Lick by Lick by America’s most romantic man, sex and relationship expert Michael Webb. The book will discuss the importance of foreplay in sexually satisfying a woman. It will teach you on how to do foreplay and will even give you a road map to her pleasure spots, including the eight components of the vulva that are extremely responsive to pleasure which very few men know about. Lick by Lick will also give an extensive guide to cunnilingus which is the tried and tested way to bring any woman to climax; cunnilingus is the act of making love to her female parts with your mouth and tongue. As majority of women orgasm through clitoral stimulation, this book is a very good investment to spice up a long term couple’s sex life or to establish a new couple sex life so as to strengthen their relationship inside and outside the bedroom.